Share YOUR funniest texts!!

A few choice selections from www.textsfromlastnight.com ... complements of Ira Y. :

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(202): therell be strippers and coke right?
(703): no strippers. just coke.
(202): i hate this fuckin recession

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(571): non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.

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(619): i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.

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(226): forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.

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(732): you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
(1-732): did i?

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(571): final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself

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(908): bl l w
(201): this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.

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(908): no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request